The Hurricane Swirls

Well here we are in 2020.  Covid-19 is sweeping the world. It is rare, unheard of and incomprehensible.  The never-before-seen, impossible to grasp, monster from beyond has been unleashed.  Dislocation, uncertainty and fear run rampant.  The stress levels are so high that, if we knew how to tap into it, free energy would be available for any foreseeable future. 

Life has changed.  There are many dealing with the change by reaching out to help others.  I would like to do so too.  My intention is to share how I am feeling in the middle of all of this; my fears and my strategies for coping.  Perhaps others will benefit by knowing that others are struggling too.  Maybe they will be inspired to find their own responses to their stress or their disease.  This is a blog, not a source of medical information.  This is about how I cope with stress.  Stress is felt individually, the solutions that work are also individual.

My name is Shirley Weeks.  I am 68 years old.  My husband is 73.  We live in Canada. I have a few stressors going on right now.  Covid-19 is at the top of the list; our age, information overload and knowing what to trust, dislocation of our life, uncertainty about the future, worry about others, social media, my body – do I, don’t I.  Next on the list is money.  In my case, anything to do with money is a major trigger in my life.  Immediately before Covid-19 arrived in Canada, my husband and I made the decision to seek outside help to resolve our financial issues.  The process of doing so, while useful in the long run, is difficult in the details. The disruption of the current situation does not help. I wish to start a new phase in my life; one where I start producing crochet work and various writing projects.  The process of designing/producing is wonderful.  The overall concept is terrifying and for a non-detail oriented person, difficult.  One other thing is happening.  I was diagnosed with epilepsy when I was 4.  I have been medicated since then.  Recently with the help of a very generous naturopathic doctor, I started taking a homeopathic drug.  It has lifted my emotional sedation while maintaining my physical sedation.  Unfortunately suddenly having access to a whole bunch of feelings when everything is super intense does not lead to a peaceful life.  Please note that the basis of homeopathy is that it is an individual treatment based on the person and the need.  Never medicate yourself. Like all medications they are potent.

That’s my starting point. As I read that back, I realize that all of my stressors, in the long run or very long run, can turn into very positive events.  If I look back say ten or twenty years from now, I will no doubt say oh 2020, the Covid-19 year that was the best thing that happened to me.  I truly hope that all of us can say that. Today, however, is another story entirely.

Last night around 2 a.m. I woke up coughing.  My chest was sore. My throat hurt. Alarm bells went off and boom I was fully awake. Immediately I assumed I had Covid-19.  What do I do now?  Don’t want to go to the hospital, I’ll get sicker.  Can’t wake up my husband, he was complaining of feeling like he had the flu earlier. Panic started to send out its tendrils creeping along my nerves.

My arm had automatically stretched out for water while I was still waking up.  My mouth, throat, everything was dry.  I sleep with my mouth open. That drys up everything. I lay there assessing my body;  mouth dry, throat sore, pain in my chest, breathing was deep, slow and smooth. What? Umm, maybe I don’t have Covid-19.  Yet my chest, my throat! Oh ya, pains in the chest are a stress response for me.  The pain isn’t deep and strong, it is soreness that seems close to my skin.

In trying to decide what to do since sleep was long gone, I remembered watching The Secret recently.  It had mentioned writing down what you want to be in the future as if it has already happened.  Start with I am grateful that. Finish with what you want as if it has already happened.  I was awake and sleep was not happening.  I grabbed a notebook and a pen.  Three pages later there was no chest pain, no throat pain.  It was still dry but didn’t hurt.  I also recalled that I had not had a great deal to drink in the previous day.  Finally, I was able to go to sleep.

When I woke up, my throat was dry again.  I really do have to keep some liquid handy and actually drink it during the day.  If I don’t, eventually the dryness starts to hurt.  That ramps up my stress level. The chest pain is in the background.  Writing keeps it at bay, crocheting does too.  If I get too involved in any of my stressors, it pops in again.  There are solutions.  All of them require that I refocus on the present moment.  I can choose to remember what has become a chant from those close to me. “You have been through dislocation before.  You have survived.  You will again. This too shall pass.”

This too shall pass.  Let us all remember that.  Do what we can to focus on what we can control.  While it is passing, let us reach out (maintaining social distance) in whatever way we can to let others know we are here. Share your experiences in the comments below.  We are all in this together.