Eye of the Storm

Standing in the middle of winds buffeting you from every direction is a horrible feeling.  Your immediate reaction is to fight, cower, scream, do something to resist those winds.  You feel torn apart.  Those terrible winds have ripped all control away, all sense of place.  Any sensible mind knows that the only possible reaction is panic. Once the panic has overwhelmed you, you are right. You are lost.

There is another way.  Stop.  Stand still.  Take some deep breaths if you will.  It is not necessary to resist the winds.  When you stop resisting, you discover that the buffeting turns into gentle nudges. Let the winds turn you around.  You will be turned to face the eye of the storm.  The wind itself will edge you closer and closer to it.  Then you are in the center of the storm.  There all is calm.  There you can look around you, take stock of who and where you are.  As you do, a confidence, a surety will come over you.  Ideas will flow gently into your mind.  They will not cause panic, they will provide a sense of place, a sense of control.  At that point, you can step out of the calm and into the winds on the other side.  This time, there will be no buffeting. You will do what it is you are called to do.  You will walk through the winds until you emerge on the other side.  You will look around and see everyone else. The essence of a hurricane is movement.  The other side is always there.

Visual images are not my deal.  Word images are.  Instead of a picture being worth 1000 words, I give you around 250 words to create a picture. What picture would you use to explain your feelings?  Please share in the comments below.

Writing is my access to the eye of the storm.  Yesterday I spent a lot of time writing.  I found myself standing in a place of calm.  The wonders that emerged.  I realized that I have prepared myself for this moment for my entire life.

I have spent a lifetime hating my epilepsy, hating the seizures that tear me away from my world without notice, without explanation.  That led to not trusting my body.  Surprising how unsafe you feel in the world when you believe that your body is out to get you.  The government and health authorities cry, stop your life, don't do anything, don't interact.  Well, that shouldn't be a problem.  I've done that for 65 years.  When it was over, I resumed. It is always over. You always resume.  Hmm, maybe my body wasn't so horrible after all.

I like to stay in one place.  If my body can't be trusted, maybe my home can be. Despite this, I have moved around.  Every time the move places me into an entirely new environment, new people, new everything. Most of the moves have been voluntary. Every time I start over.  Just like now.  I am not physically moving to a different place.  Instead, I have to make an emotional move.  It is no less disconcerting.  Just like it is for you.  My experience tells me that I will adjust.  More importantly, it tells me how to adjust.  Reach out.  Let people know that you are there.  Right now, it is advised that we reach out digitally instead of physically. Isn't it wonderful that we live in a digital age?

Earlier this year, I won a year's free naturopathic service from a very generous individual.  She suggested that I try a specific homeopathic drug,  That drug did two things.  It gave me a break from the constant background fear that I felt because I could not rationalize all those breaks in my life.  Confidence and recognition of my abilities arose.  While not affecting the necessary physical sedation, it did lower the emotional sedation I was on.  I can think again.  My finances aren't great.  I cannot share money with those in need.  I don't drive. What I can do is write. What I can do is share my struggles and successes.

I discovered while I rested in the eye of the storm that I am prepared in just the right way for this moment in my life. Move into the eye of the storm, rest and look. Discover how you have been prepared. It doesn't require a lot of looking.  The universe is great at sending messages to you. Just stop and let them reach you. You will know how to contribute. Please use this forum to share what you are doing.

Thank you for joining me.  Thank you for sharing.  Thank you for being who you are.  You are perfect.
Loving each and every one of you.

The Hurricane Swirls

Well here we are in 2020.  Covid-19 is sweeping the world. It is rare, unheard of and incomprehensible.  The never-before-seen, impossible to grasp, monster from beyond has been unleashed.  Dislocation, uncertainty and fear run rampant.  The stress levels are so high that, if we knew how to tap into it, free energy would be available for any foreseeable future. 

Life has changed.  There are many dealing with the change by reaching out to help others.  I would like to do so too.  My intention is to share how I am feeling in the middle of all of this; my fears and my strategies for coping.  Perhaps others will benefit by knowing that others are struggling too.  Maybe they will be inspired to find their own responses to their stress or their disease.  This is a blog, not a source of medical information.  This is about how I cope with stress.  Stress is felt individually, the solutions that work are also individual.

My name is Shirley Weeks.  I am 68 years old.  My husband is 73.  We live in Canada. I have a few stressors going on right now.  Covid-19 is at the top of the list; our age, information overload and knowing what to trust, dislocation of our life, uncertainty about the future, worry about others, social media, my body – do I, don’t I.  Next on the list is money.  In my case, anything to do with money is a major trigger in my life.  Immediately before Covid-19 arrived in Canada, my husband and I made the decision to seek outside help to resolve our financial issues.  The process of doing so, while useful in the long run, is difficult in the details. The disruption of the current situation does not help. I wish to start a new phase in my life; one where I start producing crochet work and various writing projects.  The process of designing/producing is wonderful.  The overall concept is terrifying and for a non-detail oriented person, difficult.  One other thing is happening.  I was diagnosed with epilepsy when I was 4.  I have been medicated since then.  Recently with the help of a very generous naturopathic doctor, I started taking a homeopathic drug.  It has lifted my emotional sedation while maintaining my physical sedation.  Unfortunately suddenly having access to a whole bunch of feelings when everything is super intense does not lead to a peaceful life.  Please note that the basis of homeopathy is that it is an individual treatment based on the person and the need.  Never medicate yourself. Like all medications they are potent.

That’s my starting point. As I read that back, I realize that all of my stressors, in the long run or very long run, can turn into very positive events.  If I look back say ten or twenty years from now, I will no doubt say oh 2020, the Covid-19 year that was the best thing that happened to me.  I truly hope that all of us can say that. Today, however, is another story entirely.

Last night around 2 a.m. I woke up coughing.  My chest was sore. My throat hurt. Alarm bells went off and boom I was fully awake. Immediately I assumed I had Covid-19.  What do I do now?  Don’t want to go to the hospital, I’ll get sicker.  Can’t wake up my husband, he was complaining of feeling like he had the flu earlier. Panic started to send out its tendrils creeping along my nerves.

My arm had automatically stretched out for water while I was still waking up.  My mouth, throat, everything was dry.  I sleep with my mouth open. That drys up everything. I lay there assessing my body;  mouth dry, throat sore, pain in my chest, breathing was deep, slow and smooth. What? Umm, maybe I don’t have Covid-19.  Yet my chest, my throat! Oh ya, pains in the chest are a stress response for me.  The pain isn’t deep and strong, it is soreness that seems close to my skin.

In trying to decide what to do since sleep was long gone, I remembered watching The Secret recently.  It had mentioned writing down what you want to be in the future as if it has already happened.  Start with I am grateful that. Finish with what you want as if it has already happened.  I was awake and sleep was not happening.  I grabbed a notebook and a pen.  Three pages later there was no chest pain, no throat pain.  It was still dry but didn’t hurt.  I also recalled that I had not had a great deal to drink in the previous day.  Finally, I was able to go to sleep.

When I woke up, my throat was dry again.  I really do have to keep some liquid handy and actually drink it during the day.  If I don’t, eventually the dryness starts to hurt.  That ramps up my stress level. The chest pain is in the background.  Writing keeps it at bay, crocheting does too.  If I get too involved in any of my stressors, it pops in again.  There are solutions.  All of them require that I refocus on the present moment.  I can choose to remember what has become a chant from those close to me. “You have been through dislocation before.  You have survived.  You will again. This too shall pass.”

This too shall pass.  Let us all remember that.  Do what we can to focus on what we can control.  While it is passing, let us reach out (maintaining social distance) in whatever way we can to let others know we are here. Share your experiences in the comments below.  We are all in this together.